


I'm Being Undercut

by TrashQueenOfficial



Series: Romance is Boring [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, It's past tense though, M/M, casual photographer Gintoki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 08:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10613073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashQueenOfficial/pseuds/TrashQueenOfficial
Summary: I leave it at arms length, I'm keeping my distance. I'm reaching out to no one, I'm keeping your image, and if you can hear me, I think of you often.Gintoki just can't seem to let anything go.





	

Shinpachi thinks to ask about it the day after they find all the pictures. He found so many, a few of the old Odd Jobs crew, so many more from their adventures together. Some he didn’t even know, and would prefer if they didn’t, even existed. Shinpachi knows Gintoki takes them with this crappy disposable camera he  buys for two hundred yen from the same store he usually gets his Jump, getting the film developed sporadically. Aside from the one photo of the decidedly Fleshy Attractive Women there isn’t one of Gintoki and an actual possible girlfriend. Shinpachi thinks it's suspicious. He’s not trying to find something out or anything of that nature. He’s just curious, since Gintoki seems to take so many pictures of everyone else, why there isn’t any of his significant other or others.

“Say Gin-chan,” Shinpachi ignores the slight glare sent his way, “Have you ever had a girlfriend?” They are supposed to be going to buy groceries, the kitchen in Gintoki’s apartment past empty.

“Of course he did idiot!” Kagura sticks her tongue out at him, smacking the back of Shinpachi’s knees with her umbrella, “Didn’t you see how close he was to that fleshy woman in that picture yesterday!”

Gintoki blinks for a minute, staring at them with his usual emotionless gaze before laughing, heavily. The laughter goes on for a few minutes, Gintoki stopping to crouch down low, holding his ribs as he laughs. Shinpachi and Kagura almost feel stupid for a moment, standing there and watching their boss laugh.

“Nah. Nope. Never had a girlfriend. I told you that woman worked for Otose.” Gintoki  wipes at his face, standing slowly and still giggling from his laughing fit.

“Huhhhhh???? What was all that love advice when I was corresponding with Kirara?” Shinpachi is yelling again, pulling at Gintoki’s sleeve as they begin to walk down the street again. 

“Hey now hey now!” Gintoki is still deadpan as ever, eyebrows only slightly furrowed in annoyance, “I said that I’ve never had a girlfriend not that I’ve neve-”

“Shiroyasha-sama? Is that you?” Gintoki flinches at first, so unused to hearing that name now a days. He turns his head, hands shaking. That fear quickly evaporates, a wide smile on his face.

“Yamamoto! You’re still alive!” He’s walking towards an older man with a wooden sword at his side. The man is smiling just as wide looking around for something, he quickly stops, not finding it. The two shake hands, stopping to talk.

“Just barely! Hey Shiroyasha, where are the other three hooligans?” This Yamamoto person is clearly an old friend from the war, another samurai just making ends meet. His hair is messy, a large scar clean across his forehead, another one bisecting his arm. Yamamoto is most definitely older than Gintoki, the edges of his eyes softly wrinkled.

“Ah I’m not sure. Split up after the war.” Gintoki looks sheepish, well as sheepish as his face allows him to look. He’s playing with the edge of his sleeve, pulling and picking at the threading.

“Oh that's a shame. I was sure you boys were gonna get married or something.” Yamamoto claps Gintoki on the shoulder, and Shinpachi is flabbergasted.

“I don’t even thi-”

“Excuse me!” He pushes into the conversation immediately and  interrupts Gintoki, “Gin-san? Marry who?”

Yamamoto looks startled for a moment, before he smiles wide, hand still on Gin’s shoulder. Gintoki has already opened his mouth to protest, but Kagura has rushed over. Her hand is over his mouth as she stares at Yamamoto.

“Shiroyasha who are they? Your kids?” Yamamoto laughs loudly before continuing, “Y’know, Sakata-san over here had a thing going with the rest of the Joui Four. Used to be a sight, those four cuddled close around a fire or crowded into the medical tent when one of them was hurt. It was adorable. Talk of most of the camps usually.”

“Wow. Thank you for that, Yamamoto.” Gintoki has licked Kagura’s hand, forcing her to pull it off his face and wipe it on his bare arm. 

“Anytime. It was really nice seeing you but I have to run.” Yamamoto waves as he walks around them, hand on his wooden sword and smiling.

Gintoki smiles and waves back until Yamamoto is out of sight, then he shudders, as if he’s shaking something off of himself. Gin quickly grabs Kagura and Shinpachi by the back of their shirts and pulls them back to the odd jobs headquarters, an annoyed expression on his face.  They’re tossed in when they get there, door shut firmly. Shinpachi sighs in the doorway, so much for their groceries. He’ll have to go in the morning, on his way over from the dojo. 

“So no girlfriends huh?” Kagura is snickering, face half hidden behind her hand as she flops onto the couch. 

“Nope.” Gintoki’s voice is firm as he trudges through the living room and into his chair.

“An-and that’s fine! Right Kagura?” Shinpachi is full on panicking, afraid they’ve done something to  _ upset _ Gintoki. 

“Of course, Gin-chan is still Gin-chan.” Kagura says it proudly, a heavy grin on her face and her feet up on the back of the couch. Shinpachi’s unfounded panic subsides as he takes a deep breath.

“I wanted to tell you guys,” Gintoki smiles slightly, “Impatient brats. Keep your noses out of my personal business.” He pretends to shake his fist at them, like an old man chasing children off his yard. 

“Do you… have pictures from then?” Gintoki gives Shinpachi a look and the panic resurfaces, “I mean cause you have so many of us, and it's only been two… years…” The rest of his sentence dies off in a squeak as Gintoki continues to look at him.

“Relax Shinpachi, it’s not like it’s a sensitive subject or anything.” It is, “It’s in the past.” It’s not.

“That doesn’t answer the question though Gin-chan! Do you have any pictures? Oh is there any of little Katsura! Seeing adults when they’re younger is always funny!” Kagura rushes her way over, ripping open drawers in his desk.

“Hey hey get outta my space,” Gintoki pushes her away with his foot, “I don’t have any!”

“Awwww!” Both Shinpachi and Kagura groan in disappointment.

“My school burned down, and I couldn’t very well keep a camera on the battlefield. Common sense you idiots.” He has one picture of the four of them, arms wrapped around each other outside of their encampment. Its torn around the edges, a stain from some sort of mug or cup in the top left hand corner. It sits in his pillowcase, like he’s a fifteen year old girl with a crush. 

It kind of is that way. Gintoki wishes he could say he’s not in love with them anymore but that’s a bold faced _lie_. It’s them who aren’t in love with him. Katsura is the only one still around, but distant. As if Gintoki is just a classmate, not someone he’s confided in and kissed. As if Katsura never loved him at all. Sakamoto is off in space, doing whatever it is he’s doing. Not a care in the whole universe. The worst out of the three of them is probably Takasugi, who wants his head served on a silver fucking platter. Gintoki knows it’s stupid, to be so invested in people who don’t love him anymore. It gets bad some nights, when his ptsd is running wild,  he turns expecting them to be there and is met with nothing but an empty room. Sometimes he can’t get as far as sleep, as if it was just yesterday and not years ago that they were all sleeping together, so used to sharing his space with his boyfriends and now he’s all alone. 

“Gin-san… Gin-san!” Gintoki doesn’t even realize he was zoning out, snapping back to reality just in time to catch the smack Kagura is trying to land on him. 

“We’re going downstairs to Otose’s to get dinner and then to walk Sadaharu! Want to come?” Kagura is bouncing on her heels, smile still wide on her face.

“Why not, I’m hungry.” He stands, stretching and wiping the thoughts from his mind. It’s no use thinking about people who will probably never think of you back. 


End file.
